Perspective is the key to happiness.
How do you view yourself? Are you what you want to look like? Are you the person you want to be? Would you rather not look at yourself? The perception of one’s self isn’t the true vision of who you are. In fact, Self-perception is probably the most deceiving of all. You might feel you are different from what others see. And you are for sure different from what everyone sees, because everyone sees something different.
Pleasing everybody is impossible. Pleasing yourself is difficult enough. At what lengths do you go to please some people compared to another person? Some people choose to please themselves over anybody else. And it might sound dirty to please yourself but in essence that’s what they are doing. I don’t see being self –indulgent any differently than I see masturbation. Others are providers, they give to others first, but make sure they get theirs. Then again, some people don’t please themselves at all, their happiness comes from the happiness of the people around them, and they choose to improve the people around them over themselves. Givers.
Being self-indulgent or a giver is not better than the other; however it’s easy to think so.
Take a look at an apple. Red, round, a fruit that was grown on a tree wherever orchards are. Is that apple delicious? Gross? Ok? Each person will have a different idea of what that apple is. The farmer doesn’t see it as an apple; he sees it as money, currency, a means to an end. That apple has no taste to him. A chef sees it as an ingredient. You might like it better as applesauce, juice, in pie, in a salad. You might be used to green apples, so you’d see it as odd. If you don’t like apples you’d see it as being gross.
All these perceptions that people have of this apple and in essence there is no real truth, right? Saying that an apple is gross might offend someone who likes apples, or touting the apple might disturb the anti-applers out there. Then again, the farmer doesn’t care as long as someone is buying them and again the chef doesn’t care as long as enough people order it. All of these are truths.
People are no different in idea than the apple. We are a bit more complex of course, however, the same remains to be true that you can’t please everyone. You’ll never make everyone happy. All the apple did was grow, and look at the praise and scrutiny it just endured.
You know, perception is opinion which can be changed with thought. No physical change is necessary. And the powers of that change in perception projects onto others and can change their perception of you. Be careful though, changing perception to please others and not yourself might not be true to your beliefs.
Perception also changes naturally, that farmer who sold his apples might have enough money. That apple might look like food again. The chef might end his shift and now a chunk of that apple turnover might look good. The kid who loved apple sauce growing up might not like the consistency anymore, or it could be too sweet for his advancing taste buds.
It’s no different than the people at work who see you as your job, or the people who see you as money, a mule, love you for your humor, or hate you for your opinion. You’ll never please everyone.
My advice is to project who you are the best you can while keeping your integrity. You can’t force it and you can’t pretend forever. Be true to yourself and they will change their perception of you anyways. The people who love you will still love you. Everyone else can eat it.
