Hope defined: "Want or expect something: to have a wish to get or do something or for something to happen or be true, especially something that seems possible or likely."
Desire Comes First
At first there has to be a demand; a desire; a need; a longing or wanting of something; an outcome. The demands for a ‘need’ or a ‘want’ are different things in themselves. It doesn't really matter if it’s a want or need. It doesn't really change the topic of hope regardless if it’s of significant importance or something simple. The model doesn't change. Understanding the model of how hope inspires or kills a soul is the key to understanding you and other's desire for specific outcomes.
Once an outcome is identified as a want or need, an undeterminable amount of value is placed on the outcome. I say undeterminable because each person desires that outcome at a different level. They also apply different faith and different expectations; or they could want the outcome for different reasons.
Individualizing hope is important because the "hopes and dreams of many" as quoted around the world puts a blanket on the individual spirit. This type of blanketing disguises reason and suggests that there is a single sole purpose for the group. Socializing a mass desire is an easy way to appease or disappoint a large group of people. Leaders have to socialize desired outcomes, and those leaders speak to the "greater good". That "greater good" is in effect saying more people will benefit (in their own individual way) than the ones whom deny or do not share a desired outcome.
In your own life, in your own mind, it’s favorable to keep your desires individual to yourself and to not project your desires onto others as if they share the same reasoning, regardless if they share the same desire for the outcome. This is where good leaders and poor leaders are distinguished. Poor leaders project their own ideas onto others, whereas good leaders feed the individual need for an outcome by inspiring others to share and adopt the same idea for their own reasons. Creating and individual's need drives personal desires which are inspired by hope and a similar outcome.
Desire in Action
Take for instance a game. The players on each individual team are assumed to want to win that game. The fans of each individual team are assumed to want to win that game. At this point we are all socialized into a desired outcome. What is not thought of is why, how, and of what importance is it to win. The exact outcome doesn't matter at the moment, due to the fact that you have conflicting sides of the outcome we'll split the dividing factions.
Cut that socialization in half and you have one set of players and fans. The remaining set of players and fans is also socialized. The team and fans want to win for money, pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment of that desire. All of the things that the team and fans want to win for are at different levels for each individual member of the team and each individual fan. Because the fans have different individual reasons to route for a favorable outcome (competitive, gambling, partying, ect...), we'll split the factions again.
Cut that socialization again to just the players and you'll find the reason to want to win will vary also. You'll find that each player on the team prepares a little different. Each player will also have a different compete level. You'll see the desire in their play, their face, and their actions. Your perception of the player is built by the input of their trade as well as the outcome of their work. Judged at every step by the rest of the world. You'll see that skill level helps determine the amount of effort or input that each player has to give to achieve a certain level of success. It’s easy to profile a player. Easy to assume what drives the player and the outcome.
What you don't see is the level of hope, faith, and self-confidence in each player, coach, & manager. You don't see their reasoning. A player could be playing for a contract. The player could be playing for someone else’s desire (father, coach, and wife). The player could be looking for popularity, or even glory. All of the reasons the player is playing for the desired outcome is different because each level of money, pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment is different for each individual player. If you are a coach, you have to know each individual player and their reasons; you have to search of what inspires each person as an individual.
Hope
Once a coach knows the players level of desire and the reasoning behind that desire. He'll know how to feed his hope, re-enforce his faith, and maximize the player's potential or probability to reach that personal desired outcome.
The coach can't just come in and give a blanket statement, unless he has replaced personal gain with a stronger, richer, and better reason to have that desire. A common reason to aspire maximum potential. This is how military is formed. It’s how leaders are made great, socializing a group of individuals for a common outcome. Essentially creating a more important reason for individual gain (because the individuality never truly subsides).
If you take a step back and look at the coach as an individual, he too is looking for an individual outcome to satisfy his levels of reasoning and desire. His leadership and ability to feed the team's social and individual outcomes fulfills his own personal desires. This idea feeds up to manager who hired the coach, as well as down to each player. The affected party is everyone involved; both teams, fans, management, as well as family and friends. Each individual had a desired outcome, received an actual outcome, and has a different feeling and resulting reaction to the outcome.
This logic makes any and every outcome important in some way at some level.
Understanding desired outcomes both socially and individually helps one understand the respective group and individual intent. This is truly the sole of the desire.
Hope is the vehicle in which individual desire uses to push toward intended outcomes. When you hear the saying, "Where there's a will there's a way" is a positive reinforcement statement used as a tool to fuel hope. The saying spells out that if you have a desire, there is hope.
If you look at the vehicles that desire uses, Self-Confidence, Faith, and Hope. The only one truly necessary to continue forward is hope. Without hope, desire will sit dormant in the back of one’s mind waiting for hope to come back. Performance without Faith and Self-Confidence is hindered, however, can still move on with hope. Without hope, faith and self-confidence are nothing more than the wishes.
Using hockey as an example, if one has a desire to become a better hockey player, his desire and intent is shown to coaches at practice. In games, however, if ones skill isn't high enough yet, the coach might not play the player on a regular basis. This can cause self-confidence issues and in games he might not have the confidence to perform as his highest level. The player might have faith that one day he'll be good enough to play and that his play in practice and in games will give the coach more incentive to return that faith and play him more; but it’s the hope that he can achieve that drives the player. It’s also the hope of the coach that the player's faith and self-confidence can take him to the level of consistent playing time. But truly, it is hope that drives desire. If all hope is lost, desire doesn't fade, it just has no vehicle to pursue the outcome.
Application of Hope
In the application of hope one should always audit oneself in regards to their own personal desires. Understand the level of need for the outcome and use each vehicle to achieve the desired outcome. In essence, you should know what your true desires are in life and work to achieve them. Once you know that, you then move on to learn the desires of the closest people to you. Whether it is your spouse, children, parents, friends, co-workers, etc...
Another example would be the desire to please your spouse. You have to understand your spouse’s desires. There are many basic desires, namely needs (such as extrinsic), that are expected in any marriage. But there are also other desires that are not needs that are intrinsic that motivate and inspire hope, faith, and self-confidence. Once again, it comes down to understanding one’s personal desires, and realizing that desires do not go away. Once hope is lost they lie dormant. Eventually, something inspires hope and invigorates desire, which now gives the vehicles faith and self-confidence room to work.
If one ignores others' desires and proceeds to pursue their own outcomes, the unfulfilled people will reject and rebel at the outcomes of the selfish regardless of the intent. Eventually, the unfulfilled will pursue their own outcomes once life adjusts and hope is re-inspired.
Examples of this are people who lose weight during divorce, rejuvenated careers after changing jobs, company’s, or teams, resurgence of economic growth after a recession, a return of faith in an idea, philosophy, or religion.
All of these are inspired by desires which have to be driven by hope. If there is no hope, achievement can't be maximized. Sayings like, "you can't win by faith alone" re-enforce the idea that hope is the true driver to success.
Advice
To inspire healthy relationships one must recognize their own needs, wants, and desires as well as the needs, wants and desires of the individuals that assist you in realizing your own outcomes.
C.L.
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